In fact

There's a dent on my forehead.
A dent that's blocking my ability to think straight...
I'm standing in front of a mirror and I see the dent staring back at me, a curvy dent with definite bad intentions.
I suppose it's about time though...it's been a long time since I'd had a dent on my forehead, a need for knowledge, hunger for completion...
There's something about this reality that turns us into unimpressionable, hollow beings.
There's something about growing up that caves into our minds with no firewall popping up. I guess it's about time I noticed this.
There's nothing wrong with disapproving of your state of mind...social status...current occupation.
I simply need a change of view...a cleaner lens...a broader gaze...a better mirror...
Because maybe I've lost perspective.
Maybe I've lost motivation.
Maybe I've found more to bitch about.
Or perhaps there are no more amazing things to be amazed about.

I guess it's something I should try to figure out.

Nothing comes effortlessly.

Yet what do I really know?

Update!

I had a great laughter update, was a pending file in my archive for a while...well I reminded myself of how much I enjoyed saying nonsense and doing nonsense...
If you say dance I'll dance...and I did lol...

Well...just updating my head and my blog while I'm at it.

Pinch me.

Re happy la cosa no?

This used to be the happy me

And I think my mind tore into some sort of multiple personality disorder.

Nah...not really, I'm just not in the mood for...well anything.

I guess it is something that eventually overcomes everyone.

Boredom.

Contempt.

Lack of joy.

Oh, but I'm happy, I'm just not sure if it is enough.

Nourishing

Just look at all those hungry mouths we have to feed
Take a look at all the suffering we breed
So many lonely faces scattered all around
Searching for what they need

Is this the world we created?
What did we do it for?
Is this the world we invaded
Against the law?
So it seems in the end
Is this what we're all living for today?
The world that we created

You know that every day a helpless child is born
Who needs some loving care inside a happy home
Somewhere a wealthy man is sitting on his throne
Waiting for life to go by

Is this the world we created?
We made it on our own
Is this the world we devastated
Right to the bone?
If there's a God in the sky looking down
What can he think of what we've done
To the world that He created?

ACID

veins
veins....
veins.....

where the blood runs back and forth in the midst of a new shiny era.

Acid....
aciddddd....
aciddddddd...

Where the game has no rules nd the songs are sung by any common wench.

I say green!!
green fairy!!!
come back to me in your kingdom of mushrooms and colour.

come back...come back....come back....

just bring a dose and leave.

I don't care what comes with you or with it, just wanna see shiny little specs floating round your special little head.

fly away now my love...

fly away

cause you know I could be anything, I can be anything....I was the best and worst and see the best and worst and love anyway.

cause i simply loooooveeee.....

as much as i hate.

therefore i perish.

no. i'm not on drugs....I'm just plain creative.

plainly.

bye

With Open Eyes....

We beseech thee, Hear Us!

I'm not so sure about anything anymore...except of what is tangible, permanent, close, and daily...

I'm not sure about my future, about my legacy, about my talent, my skills, my friends, my objectives, my standards, my expectations, my wishes, my desires, my need for lust.

I find myself incapable of defying my own false sense of security in the fear of crashing against a mass of doubt and uncertainty.

I find no interest in work, studies, fun, only amuse myself in silence, books, television (though against my principles) but mostly thought....

I find myself trapped in thought...in a permanent state of shock.

They say several panic attacks can alter your way of life....I guess mine has been altered.
I used to think everything came clear at a certain age...that age has come, and I don't think anything has been any more blurred than now.

I used to cut myself....now I cut myself off reality.

And I don't know what's worse.

To live for a dream that won't come true...or to believe a dream will come true, even when the possibilities are practically nule.

I don't know any more...dwelling in mood swings an entire lifetime cannot be productive.

But you know me, there's nothing closer to a kaleidoscope than my mind...a thousand million pieces all together but not one...just a bag of thoughts, dreams, deceptions, love, pain, memories,
ideas, jumbled up in a maniac's blender.

whuuuuushhhhhhhh

I wish I had a simpler mind.

I wish I had less.

I wish I was less.

I wish-.-